Ok… taking a week off from talking about being intentional
(notice I did not say taking a week off from actually being intentional!)
Although before I do I’ll report in on how my whole “eat fruit with every meal”
goal is going. Monday – check. All the fruit, all the meals. Tuesday… depends.
Does apple pie count as fruit? Sheepish would be how I feel about Tuesday. We
had sales training which means catered lunch and I had a NAJA (yes I know I thought
I was on break, too) thing out of town which just in general means food that
does not include fruit. Plus we ran out of fruit at my house. Like all of it.
Fresh fruit, canned fruit, fruit cups, fruit bars (which is not really fruit),
yogurt (see previous parentheses). ALL OF IT. But I have now solved that over
lunch hour on Wednesday (how is it only WEDNESDAY!!!). So back on track.
I digress. So, I’m taking a week off this week because I
want to see if anyone else is every derailed by a single conversation? A single
person? A single moment? Y’all the last half of my last week was legitimately
hijacked by a singular person/event. And try as I might, I could not get past it.
To the point where I’m saying to people “I know this sounds
petty, but…” Like a lot. To everyone. I mean we are talking firstest of the first
world problems here. Ugh. But nonetheless, this singular event just bugged me
last week. A LOT (did I mention it bothered me?) To the point where I was
losing sleep. And in the event that I did actually fall asleep I woke up
irritated and thinking about this. And
what I would do to right the injustice and how I would fight the system. Only
to realize over and over again that IT JUST DIDN’T MATTER.
But I still let it consume me. Like I would say to myself “Lauren,
we are better than this, move on.” And I would until I thought about it again.
And then I’d be angry all over again. I’m talking raise a dragon to lay waste
to the land sort of angry. And for what?
Now I will say that for the first time in the ever of evers
for me I wrote an email and DID NOT send it. I told myself to wait 24 hours.
Turns out I didn’t need it. 6 hours in I realized that email did not ever need
to see the light of day. Nothing in the email was incorrect or unprofessional
(think more terse with an overwhelming angry undertone), it is just that
sending it would accomplish nothing. 6 hours in I also realized I was being
petty, but couldn’t shake the angry feeling.
So have you ever been through that? How do you deal with it?
I had lots of long talks with myself. I prayed for this person, even though I
didn’t want to. I went all Rachel Hollis (hey girl hey) and tried to find
commonality with the person at the root of my event. I did all of those things
and still ended up angry. Like angry enough to pull all of my future planned monetary
and time donations from the organization at the center of the derailment. Why?
Because I felt slighted? Because I wasn’t treated right? How many times do I
roll my eyes and tell my children that life is not fair? Yet I allow this
perceived unfairness to literally consume me for 5 days? What is that?
For the record, I’ve calmed down. Some. I’m still pissy
about the entire situation, but more of an “I’ll kick your trashcan over” kind
of angry than the fiery dragon kind of angry from before. I think at the root
of the situation it is because I feel like I’m right about things (and truth be
told, I probably am), but back to what I tell my kids, so what!! So what that
you’re right. It doesn’t change what happened. And by allowing yourself to be
angry about it for more than 60 minutes, you’re letting this person and this
situation win over and over and over again.
So truly I ask, if you are one of the people in this world
that gets bogged down in the petty nonsense and you have brains enough to see
that, how do you get unstuck?
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