It’s Sunday morning at 6am. My kiddos are about to celebrate
the biggest decisions of their lives, and I can’t help but revel in where our
lives are in this quiet before they wake up and our day starts.
Back up to last January 1. The start of a new year. One for
me that didn’t begin with my kids because they were here and I was on a trip
with the man who had told me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with us.
So when things ended less than a month later the night of my birthday party, I
was considerably shaken. When I found out he had lied to my children I was
furious. And then for several months I was lost. I wasn’t sad. I wasn’t overly
happy, but I didn’t know how to move forward with a life that was so different
than the one I had expected. Than the one I had been promised.
But then on Memorial Day something happened. We found out
that Braden had gotten a part that he’d worked really hard to get and I cried.
I cried because he was so excited. I cried because he was so happy and I cried
because he was so proud of himself. I was proud, too. His theater family was
proud. It was a good day.
And it seems like from that day something magical has
happened. This block that I couldn’t seem to get past quietly faded away and we
began living our best lives. And I truly mean that. We’ve had an amazing summer
of travel, both together and apart. One kid won a national championship.
Another is rocking all 4 of his pre-AP classes in his first year in middle
school. Then there was this little thing where they were both on the national
news, and a little project that started in our living room has exploded into
something that none of us could have ever seen coming. There is genuine
excitement when one member of the family has a good day.
We took the vacation of their lifetimes, possibly mine. And
there were moments when I kept thinking it just wouldn’t have been the same if
anyone else had been there. We’ve got plans. Just the three of us. And we talk
about them all the time.
And this morning my kiddos are going to confirm their infant
baptisms in front of friends and family. Like I said, the most important
decision they’ll each ever make. I’m so excited for them!
And then one will run off to dance and after brunch the
other one will spend time in the kitchen making meals for his business before
heading off to rehearsal. Yes, we are probably the busiest we have ever been.
And probably about to get busier. But I wouldn’t change a single moment.
I’m pouring my whole self into my kids and into our family
these days and it has honestly been the best summer in a while. Not to say
there aren’t hard times. And I certainly still take time for myself every once
in a while. But the subtle change of only living toward the future that is ours
has somehow made all the difference in the world. We wake up each morning and
thank God for being safe, and healthy, and happy. And I think anything that
happens on top of that each day is just gravy. And these days the gravy is so
good!
