Something I started last summer was making my kids help out
paying for stuff. I know that sounds harsh, but really it isn’t. When you’re a
single parent (who gets no support from the other parent…) that has active
kids, paying for stuff is something that frequently occupies the forefront of
my brain. I work a full time salaried job, so it isn’t like I can pick up extra
shifts for OT money. I work Verizon and do fundraisers as they are available,
but all of those things take me away from my kids.
So last summer I tasked Braden with earning half of his
money for Space Camp. And Braden’s Bites was born.
And it has been hugely
successful for him. Last summer he paid for church camp and his deposit for
Space Camp. This year he is poised to pay for his Space Camp deposit and his
deposit for a trip to New York in two years. He also paid for part of culinary
camp.
Now Amelia is on board as an employee of sorts. She wanted
to go back to American Pageants nationals next summer. Guess what kiddo – you’ve
got to earn it. Sleep over camp at Family Farm? That’s right. Your money. Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader camp? You guessed it - her money. But
they’ve both been lucky that we have some super strong supporters of Braden’s
Bites that have supported them over the past 14 or so months and allowed them to be able to make choices to go places.
But the reason I bring all of this up today is because time
and time again I’ve been told by camp counselors, instructors, etc that my kids
are some of the most engaged kids each week at camp. I firmly believe it is
because they now fully comprehend how hard it was to work to be at that camp.
Telling a kid that a camp costs $250 doesn’t mean anything to them because they
can’t grasp that amount. So what mom – it’s just money. Having them work to
earn the $250 is an entirely different story. It also has allowed them to truly have some once in a lifetime experiences that I just wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise.
Same thing with their spending money. They each have a stash
of money that has come from birthdays, Christmas, or in Braden’s case the tooth
fairy (8 teeth this summer!) that they use to purchase things they want. When
we are at a store or on vacation and they want something I very simply let them
know that purchase is a “their money” not “mom’s money” purchase. More often
than not the intended purchase goes back on the shelf. I’ve even started doing
this with non-school clothes for Amelia. Again, it may sound harsh for an 8
year old, but I promise this girl has more clothes than she could ever want to
wear. So if she really, really wants something, I let that be her decision (as
long as it falls within the boundaries of what I’ll allow her to wear). But I
see them taking care of those purchases and really using those things more than
if I just purchase something for them.
So, next time your kids ask to do something or buy something
maybe consider making them work for it. And I mean really work for it. If
chores are an expectation at your house, don’t pay them $10 to take the trash
out unless you normally would. Maybe
allow them to pick up some extra chores or visit with neighbors about doing
yard work, etc. We’ve had several friends raising money for trips, etc and I
will always try and support those kids because I fully believe so much that
they get more out of it that way. And for any of you wondering, Braden and
Amelia are in the kitchen working for every single Braden’s Bites meal service.
9 times out of 10 I’m only there in a supervisory role. So double bonus – they are
learning responsibility, but also how to cook!
