Giving thanks and giving back

Hands down the most important job I will ever have on this earth is teaching my children. And in my heart I know that one of the most important things I can teach them is the importance of giving back. But more than that the importance of being humble. The importance of being truly thankful for what we have been given in this life. The importance of wanting to leave this world a better place for having been in it. The importance of having the ability to change one person's life by our actions.

That is big. As a 32 year old those concepts are sometimes still hard for me to grasp. I don't understand how kids that go to school with mine don't get enough to eat. How a good dinner at some homes is noodles with McDonalds ketchup packets on top. That doesn't happen here. It can't. But it does. And I struggle sometimes with how to explain to my kids that not everyone has it as good as us. On one hand I want them to learn early that those people who go home hungry don't live half a world away. They live down the street from us. But on the other hand my kids have the precious gift of not knowing how unfair the world is. They can't fathom a home where a little boy doesn't have any stuffed animals because ours litter the floor in every room of the house. Who am I to tell them that the world isn't all rainbows and kittens? After all, isn't it my job to protect them?

That being said, there aren't a lot of ways that my kids can give back yet. They can't go with me to build a house for Habitat. They can't serve food at Stone Soup kitchen. But when I got involved with the Junior Auxiliary backpack program last year (kind of by accident) I found out that this was the perfect place for my kids to get involved. The program provides backpacks to kids during school breaks that are filled with breakfast, lunch, and dinner for each day the kids are out of school. On our first trip to stuff backpacks I explained what we were doing. Braden asked a lot of questions and I could tell he couldn't understand the idea of not having food to eat at home. He didn't understand why their moms couldn't just go to the store and buy food like we do. I finally just told him that not everyone in the world is as blessed as us and sometimes there just isn't enough money to go around. It must have stuck because every time we stuff backpacks, he talks to me about the boys and girls that don't have enough food.

In this week of Thanksgiving, I am reminded even more how blessed my family is, but also reminded how important it is to teach my children what a blessing truly means. Blessing doesn't mean getting the happy meal toy that you wanted from McDonalds. Blessing means being safe and happy and healthy and knowing that your parents are able to take care of the things that you need in this world. Giving back can be a scary thing sometimes because it takes us to a place that we aren't willing to admit exists, but at some point it is our responsibility to take our children to that world, little by little, so that they too understand the importance of giving back.

Happy Thanksgiving to each of you!  

Aha Moment

So Sunday as I'm holding Amelia's pee pants in one hand (keep in mind my child is now again in public and naked from the waist down) and trying to clean her pee off my other hand (while standing in a group of my friends) I had an "aha moment". I finally got the thought process behind the "you're a great girl, but I don't do kids" speech. And for those of you who have never dated as a mom, you get that speech a lot. A LOT! Yeah, I GOT that speech in that moment. But as a mom, I'd never trade any pee soaked moment for any guy in the world. Not even Prince Harry. Not even Paul Walker.

And as I'm driving home, I began to think about all of those other moments that might have led to a man thinking that my kids are scary. I mean come on, there are all sorts of TV shows about cute things kids say and photos on the web with adorable babies and kittens. Seriously, how could you not want to love my kids?

Could it be the time when Amelia removed all of her clothing at a Traveler's game and toddled out of the Kid's Corner (the poor ladies didn't quite know what to do)? Or when she pooped in my front yard during a Wednesday Night Supper Club at my house (thank god it was my house!).  And not all Amelia moments deal with being naked or some sort of bodily function. There was the time she drove her brother's tractor into the back of my car and left some nice little marks on the bumper. Or the 4 ½ months that she didn't sleep. Or the time when we got snowed in for a week and my mom literally had to walk 2 miles uphill to get her reflux medicine (which by the way did no good so she just resumed screaming at us and not sleeping). How about when she hides out in a corner and colors my carpet with markers? Or colors herself with markers of the permanent variety? Maybe?

And Braden doesn't do things quite in the same fashion as his sister, but he's got his moments. I remember being so sleep deprived for the first three months of his life that I would constantly leave my house without shoes on. You'd think I would have learned after the first few times, but noooo. Or the time he screamed at the people in first class for 2 ½ hours on the plane ride home from San Antonio. This kid was also sick for 8 weeks in a row the first winter he was alive. I think I got to the point where I just stopped doing laundry because he kept puking on me multiple times per day. Or the 4 year old tantrums. Every parent out there who has kids that have made it through 4 know what I'm talking about. I am almost certain that 4 is the age that God invented break the strong people of the world.

But then there are Saturday mornings. No matter what the week before held, I know that my babies will crawl into bed with me and "watch" Disney Junior while diving under the covers and erupting into fits of laughter. And Friday donut days at Dales. And sitting at my godparents' house watching parades. The same parades I used to watch with the same group of people when I was their age. And what about when they bend down to kiss my hurt foot because mommy's kisses always make them feel better? What about those moments?

What about knowing that at the end of the day there is no one else they'd rather be with. No one else they'd rather snuggle with. No one else they'd rather have read to them and no one else they'd rather have tuck them in. What about the fact that Amelia brings me something from the playground every single day when I pick her up, and I feel obligated to keep it because she has nothing else to give, but loves me enough to give me all that she has. Or watching in amazement as my five year old learns to read, and write, and tie his shoes. Knowing that of all the things he'll ever do, I can't image being more proud of him than I am in those moments.

Because you see, those moments are the precious moments that make up a lifetime. These are the moments that make all of the naked, poopie, sleep deprived days, weeks, and months worth it every single day for the rest of my life. And I couldn't imagine spending that life with someone who didn't want to share all of it with me. And as far as I'm concerned, my kids are the best thing I've ever done or ever will do, so to not want to be a part of my kids' lives is to not want the best part of me. Until then, the kids and I will plod on living our lives in the spectacular fashion that we always do because this momma doesn't need a Prince Charming. 

Busy...who us?

Portland

So lately I find myself answering the question "So, how have you been?" with a single word. Busy. And it's usually yelled back over my shoulder as I'm running off to wherever the tiny humans and I are headed.

With two kids and only one of me, we have "scheduled" activities 5 out of 7 days. And that is with each kid having only 1 activity. Braden is playing soccer this fall and Amelia is taking dance. I'm in a kickball league (because obviously that is what grown ups do…), so Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday (church), Thursday, and Sunday afternoons/evenings are all scheduled. That usually leaves Friday night for snuggle time on the couch and Saturday often times is such a blur I can't begin to imagine how we fit it all in.

 

B and Jax at VBS

But what isn't said after the "busy", is that we're good. I've always been a person on the go. I enjoy living life at a busy pace. And I've been incredibly blessed with children who either have no choice in the matter so they go along to get along, OR they actually enjoy the frenzied pace that I keep, too.

 

Zipline at a friend's house

Kids on the plane to Florida

I like to think it is the latter. Especially when I hear folks telling me that "they don't know how I do it" or "you only get them this age for a little while"… Well, why do you think we're doing all of this stuff? I'm not saying there is anything wrong with the family that sits at home and enjoys a slower paced life with each other. That just isn't our family. And my kids and I have plenty of quality time together. 90% of the time we eat dinner at the table together every night (ok, sometimes they are at the table and I am leaning over the sink eating while I'm also trying to clean the kitchen before dance class, but we still talk about our day so I feel like it still counts). Every Saturday and Sunday, no matter what we're doing the kids climb into bed with me and we watch Disney Jr. for an hour before beginning our day. I ready to my kids. Every night (ok – we'll go 90% here, too).

 

Sea World San Antonio

But, my kids and I have also had some amazing adventures over the past 2 1/5 years that I wouldn't trade a moment of. I'll attempt to recap what we did this summer since apparently the last blog I wrote (before the date blog, which by the way went well!) was in February 2012.

 

2013 AR Travelers

Ok, so our summer was full of baseball. We spent an average of 1 night per week from April – August at Dickey Stephens Park watching the Travelers play. I've got more game balls piled up in various corners of my house than I remotely know what to do with. What can I say? Amelia had the bullpen wrapped around her little finger. We got to know the staff, players, and made some great memories along the way. Amelia also had an awesome trip to the ER during one game, but like I said, we live an exciting life.

Memphis Zoo

In May I took my first mom only vacation in a moment. I went to Portland to visit Ross and Amie for a week. It was amazing. No other words. And I love my kids, but thank god that they didn't go with me. I barely survived the 9 hours of travel time, so I'm almost certain someone would have gone out the side hatch had they been with me. Memorial Day weekend was spent in Memphis with my friend Jessi and her daughter Hannah (who is Amelia's age). In a little over 36 hours we drove to Memphis, did the zoo, Children's Museum, Beale Street, Peabody Hotel, swam and drove home.

Braden at baseball camp

Dolphin Tour in Florida

In comes June, which brought more baseball and vacation bible school. B went to two in one week and loved them both.  Can't wait til sis is old enough to go and I'll get a 2 hour break for 4 nights… What will I ever do with myself? Braden also went to the Bryant Hornet baseball camp. He also played baseball again this spring with his best friend Jaxon. We also did a rotating dinner club with about 10 other families every Wednesday night. I seriously think that might have been one of my favorite parts of summer. We got a lot closer to a lot of friends and I can't wait to do it again next year!

Wild River Country

July was kind of a blur…but a great one. We spent a week in San Antonio with mom and Larry and my aunt flew in from Florida. We spent the majority of our time at Sea World or in mom's pool. Sea World was beyond amazing! Kids loved it, I loved it. Highly recommend to anyone who has a chance to go! Drove to Texas, but stopped in Dallas both ways to the drive wasn't too bad.

Amelia at her first movie

Home for a week so, Braden got to go to his first summer camp in July. He went to a week of RiverCity gymnastics summer camp. Loved it! Little bit took swim lessons. She sinks less now, so I guess that's good? I also took Amelia to her first movie, Monster's University. Epic fail. She was kind of terrified of the giant centipede thing. Then we took off to visit my aunt in Florida. I was scared because I was flying by myself with the kids, but I could not have asked for an easier journey! Kids and I had a blast at the beach and just kind of took it easy and enjoyed each other.

Kids in Branson

August ushered in what I had predetermined to be our "get back in school mode", but ended up being my "suck every last ounce of summer of out this month" month. More baseball, Wild River Country, quick trip to Branson with friends, open house for Kindergarten, and did I mention baseball? August also brought Braden's first day of Kindergarten (I'll brag on how great he's doing in another blog)! We've become Bryant Hornet fans so of course we attended the Blue/White game.

Braden's first day of school at Hurricane Creek Elementary

September has been a blur of baseball (I know...you get the picture!), parades, school, dance, soccer, Razorback parties, running,

Birchtree 1 mile race

and oh yeah, my kid rode a sheep. 

Kids at the fair - pre sheep riding

So…there's also the whole I work full time, but that in a nutshell is what we've been up to. We're healthy and happy, and yes, we're good. Sometimes we're tired, but we're always good. Thanks for asking. 

Kids and my first Razorback tailgate at War Memorial

Oh the Iron…y

So something very amusing and slightly unexpected has happened this week. I had a date last night. And I realize that this blog is about my adventures in raising my children, but somewhere along the way dating has entered the realm of things I have to/get to do as a single parent.  

So last night as I'm getting ready I had an amazingly amusing comparison to getting ready for a date when I was 22 versus getting ready for a date when I am 32.

So when I was 22, getting ready for a date was often more fun than the actual date itself. I would spend days thinking about what I would wear, sometimes even buying a new outfit for the occasion. The day of I'd usually pluck my eyebrows and use some sort of fancy facemask so I could appear "fresh faced" and young. (HA!) I'd probably take a nap at some point so I'd be well rested for our dinner that probably had reservations sometime after 8pm. If I had the money I'd get a mani/pedi, but at the very least I'd do an at home mani/pedi and put a fresh coat of paint on the tootsies.

I'd probably take a bath, shave my legs, and use all sorts of crazy exfoliating stuff. Arms, elbows, knees, feet. You get the picture. There is a good chance I'd straighten my hair which is another 90 minutes tacked on. Finally I'd get dressed in the outfit I'd picked out 3 days ago and be off to my date.

Last night as Amelia and I were showering together because I literally did not have time to bathe her and myself before I went out, I chuckled to myself at the differences between my date night rituals from then and now.

Getting ready for a date at 32 looks something like this… After getting up and taking both kids to school, I came home and had 15 meetings on my schedule at work. After a good cry and trying to figure out how to actually perform any work while participating in 15 meetings, I had to grocery shop for a family in need that JA sponsors. Picked my kids up from their respective after school programs and rushed home. Had Braden do his homework partially in the car and shoved some food into both of them while making lunches for the next day. Braden was whisked away to a school meeting by a friend, so Amelia and I were free to jump in the shower. Obviously at this point in the day I have missed the fancy face masks, the plucking of the eyebrows, and more importantly, the nap!

As the tiny human keeps yelling at my for taking HER water (really? You have your own shower. Go there next time) I am trying to shave my legs and not fall down. I see some Mary Kay hand exfoliator stuff so I put some on mine and Amelia's hands. Which obviously leads to a fit complete with convulsions on the shower floor because she didn't like that on her hands. Trying to stick with my 10 years ago date night rituals I spy some carrot face cream that I try to rub on my face. Drop most of it on the floor while trying to answer 20 questions about why they put carrots in there and being very emphatically told that "I don't like carrots.". I know kid. I know!

So finally we're out of the shower. I realize at this point that I am supposed to meet this guy in 45 minutes and my hair is sopping wet and between work and the kids I haven't had a chance to think about what I'll wear tonight. Deep breath. Go into the closet. Find something clean. Wrinkled, but clean. Now this next step is probably more of the 22 year old self than what most 32 year olds would do, but I'm lazy and irons scare me. Wet the shirt and threw it in the dryer hoping it would get the wrinkles out by the time my sitter got there.

So at this point I'm mostly dressed (and praying my sitter is not early) and throw on a light dusting of makeup and run some mousse through my hair. It occurs to me that it is now 30 minutes before I'm due at the restaurant and I send up another prayer that not only will my shirt be dry but my hair also. All the while Amelia "needs some, too", so I'm trying to let her get ready like mommy without totally undoing the cleaning in the shower that she just got.

I realize that I have not addressed the mani/pedi situation so I look down. Hands are almost beyond help at this point so I move on. My toes are in worse shape and they've got peeling polish on them so I do a quick calculation and figure out that the best I'm going to get at this point is to remove the polish all together and just go bare. So I sit down and after getting the polish off of exactly one toe I run out of polish remover. Moment of panic while I try to figure out if I have enough time to repaint everything (answer is still no), and finally settle on just leaving the one toe naked and tucking it in my back pocket as a potential topic of conversation. Don't judge me. The only things I do these days are work, kids, and baseball so unfortunately on bad dates my lack of polish on one toenail might have made for interesting conversation.

Babysitter is late, but that is ok because I still have no shirt on. Check the shirt. Praise Jesus it's dry. Take one final look in my mirror and realize that this is as good as it gets these days and head out. Call a friend for a pep talk on the way there while trying to file my nails and the rest…well, that's for another day =) 

The Kids are Good!

Ok, so I'm doing a little better on keeping up with this thing, even though the past 10 days or so have been a whirlwind (but really, when is life not?).

 Kids are doing great. Amelia has entered into full blown toddlerhood. Sometimes that is good and sometimes it is bad. She going through an aggressive streak, so I have to try and sneak by the daycare counter each afternoon so they can't tell me how many kids she bit that day. It's a very tough spot to be in because there isn't much from a discipline perspective that I can do right now. I also know what it's like to have the kid who is being bit because Braden used to get bit all the time at school when he was her age. I just keep telling myself that this too shall pass.

Otherwise she's also learning a lot. Her newest (and most hilarious) fascination is with animals. Anytime a dog crosses the tv she stands in front of it and screams with delight. Every book we read is about animals and she's started learning the sounds, too. It is the most adorable thing! So far we've got Moo for cow , Woof for dog, and Roar for lions. Precious! She also loves animals in real life. Last week we were outside playing and our neighbor's dog was running around. She got so excited she threw herself to the ground and started giggling. Love it! I'm not sure where she gets it from because I'm certainly not a big animal person.

Braden is also doing well. He's getting geared up for Valentine's day at school. They are making their Valentine boxes and will have a party that day at school. Every morning when he gets up, he asks me if it is Valentine's day. Too cute! He's also going through a growth spurt. All of his pants are too short, but he is so skinny, I can't put him in the next size up yet. They'd just fall right off!

As many of you know, my birthday was last weekend. Mom and the kids really want out of their way to make it special! They woke me up on my birthday with birthday cake and presents! What better way to start the day? We followed that up with birthday cake for breakfast! Celebrated in style at my aunt's house with grilled steaks and more cake and ice cream. I would like to note that Amelia has my sweet tooth. She took her entire scoop of ice cream in one hand and ate it sans spoon! Oh to be a kid again!

Babies getting ready for mommy's birthday!

I know I look a little rough, but anytime I am woken up by fire it takes me a minute to get my bearings... And I promise that is a camera trick - there really weren't THAT many candles =)

Catching Up

Yet again I have failed miserably at writing this blog. And I know I always have excuses, so let me throw a few out there for this one. Between Christmas, the holiday season in general, mini vacations, and a second job, it's been a little busy around here…

So, I'll start at the beginning. Christmas was wonderful at our house! The only complaint I might have (ok two complaints) is that I didn't take very many pictures. I was too busy enjoying the moments that I didn't capture very many of them for posterity. That being said, there were a lot of moments. This is the first year that both kids could really do anything on Christmas morning. Now, Amelia still doesn't get the concept, but Braden does. To say that he was overwhelmed on Christmas morning might be an understatement. He walked right past the ride on tractor that Santa had left and went to his stocking =) Amelia slept in and quickly took possession of her new baby doll stroller and hasn't slowed down since. Mom and I both got a stomach virus on Christmas day, so we had to reschedule Christmas dinner with the rest of the family, but all in all it was a wonderful Christmas celebration!

Twas the Night before Christmas...

Ready for Christmas eve service

Seeing the lights at the courthouse

I'm gonna get every last piece!

The holiday season almost did me in though. I felt constantly tugged in different directions and everyone wanted some time or money that I didn't feel I had to give. And of course I wanted to squeeze in some traditions with the kids. Mom and I took them to the capital building here to see the tree and manger scene and ready the story of the Christmas donkey. That was a very special day for me because she used to do the same thing with Ross and I as kids. The kids and I both had Christmas parties galore, and Braden was in the church Christmas pageant. He was the cutest stinkin angel I've ever seen!

Braden and Santa at his school party

Braden and Mommy after his big performace!

Then it was off to our mini-vacation. Since my family is all here now, I don't have to travel over the holidays (amen!), but I did want to take a little get away. We decided on Branson, MO. The hotel was great and had an indoor water park, an arcade, and giant ball play area. As a matter of fact I broke the skee ball high point score one morning at the arcade. Go me! We took the kids to a show with live trained animals in it. Contrary to the picture, they both loved it! It was a quick two day vacation, but we had a blast and it was great to get away from the hustle and bustle of life and work.

With Mimi at the hotel

Amazing Pets show

We walked through the mini golf course and checked out all of the cool stuff!

Speaking of work, I have taken a second job of sorts. I am now the new Director of Operations for StarCatcher sports. I am working with a guy who February – October of every year is on the road with the Baltimore Orioles, but in the offseason does camps, clinics, and runs a college placement service for athletes. My role is sort of a jack of all trades. I do the set up and marketing for the clinics, ad and PR work for the company, and media relations. As a matter of fact, we're going to be in a magazine in February. What that means for me personally is that I work 7:30-5 at my 'real job', play mommy until 8, then do work for StarCatcher in the evenings. One would think that would make me exhausted, but I am having a blast because it combines two of my true loves – marketing and sports.

I also made a quick trip to the Cotton Bowl (sans kids) and had a blast! It has been more than a moment since I have had the opportunity to be away from the kiddos and have fun like a grown up. Fort Worth was a great place to go out, the game was a blast, and Texas Stadium is insane! GO HOGS!

I know this is supposed to be a blog about the kids, so just so you know they're both doing great. Braden will start t-ball next month and Amelia is in the 85% in all of the charts for her 15 month check up. I'll keep you all updated on their happenings as we move into spring!

Spidey-Amelia

Getting ready for spring!

Give a little cheer

First of all, I know that I promised to do this more often and have failed miserably, but I promise I have a good excuse. I've had sick (and I mean really sick) kids for the past 2 weeks that have kept me up at night, home from work, and elbow deep in laundry. So, I ask for your forgiveness, and promise that I will TRY to do better next time.


Now, I've had a blog idea that I've been wanting to write about for a month, my little helpers (or should I say 1 helper and my anti-helper), but yesterday something happened and I feel compelled to save that story for another day.

Yesterday I found out that our daycare is closing. And as horrific and panicky as it made me, I immediately began to feel for the 20 or so dedicated men and women who will be losing their jobs, right before Christmas. It made me sad, and upset that I couldn't pay for each and every one of them to have the wonderful Christmas that they deserve. Which got me to thinking about all of the children around the world that won't have toys at Christmas and won't have anything to eat that day, let alone a Christmas dinner.

It also made me think about how thankful I am that my mom raised me the way that she did, knowing that when you can and are able, you should always give back. Every year that I can remember, our family has always adopted a family at Christmas, or bought for an angel off the angel tree, or bought something for someone at a nursing home who won't get any visitors at Christmas. My mom was also always involved in service organizations growing up that had nothing to do with my brother and me. She was involved because it was the right thing to do. She passed that on to me.

In college I picked up the tradition and am so proud to say that my friends and I have adopted a family for 10 years. That is 10 (actually more than that because some years we did 2 families) families that we made a difference in. I'm not writing about this to toot my own horn, but to show how easy it is to make a difference. You might ask why I'm writing about this in a parenting blog, and it is because one of the most important values we can teach our children is philanthropy.

I don't have a lot to give, but I remind myself that the $10 I set aside each month in my grocery budget to buy food for the food bank will provide a meal for a family that would otherwise not have one. And when Braden asks why the mac n cheese I just bought can't come home with us, I happily explain to him why we buy for other children. Now, at 3 I have to put it in terms he will understand, but even as young as three he is beginning to understand what it means to help people. What it means to give of yourself and not expect anything in return.

So, this holiday season, I urge you to give back, and take your children along when you do it. Below I've listed some places that we've chosen to give back to in the past, in case you need an idea to get you rolling:

- Send a letter of thanks or a package to a soldier. You can adopt soldiers at www.anysoldier.com (We adopted an entire platoon one year at Christmas and they wrote us a very sweet letter back)
- Find out from local schools if they do backpacks at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Most kids who are on free or reduced lunch at school won't have anything to eat during long school breaks.
- Get an angel from an angel tree (Wal Mart usually has them; I know our Walgreens has an elderly angel tree, too)
- Call a school, church, or nursing home to see if anyone has expressed a need
- Rainbow Village is a domestic violence center we've worked with in the past. I know sometimes these centers are difficult because of the secrecy surrounding these women, but I am sure they can always use help.
- Reach out to your local volunteer clubs (Kiwanis, Rotary, Junior League, and Junior Auxiliary). They've always got folks in need.

And remember, it doesn't have to be a lot of time or money, but what you do can make a difference in someone's life, and that is one of the greatest gifts we can give our children!