Thursday, August 8, 2019

Buying their way to paradise


Something I started last summer was making my kids help out paying for stuff. I know that sounds harsh, but really it isn’t. When you’re a single parent (who gets no support from the other parent…) that has active kids, paying for stuff is something that frequently occupies the forefront of my brain. I work a full time salaried job, so it isn’t like I can pick up extra shifts for OT money. I work Verizon and do fundraisers as they are available, but all of those things take me away from my kids.

So last summer I tasked Braden with earning half of his money for Space Camp. And Braden’s Bites was born.

 


And it has been hugely successful for him. Last summer he paid for church camp and his deposit for Space Camp. This year he is poised to pay for his Space Camp deposit and his deposit for a trip to New York in two years. He also paid for part of culinary camp.


Now Amelia is on board as an employee of sorts. She wanted to go back to American Pageants nationals next summer. Guess what kiddo – you’ve got to earn it. Sleep over camp at Family Farm? That’s right. Your money. Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader camp? You guessed it - her money. But they’ve both been lucky that we have some super strong supporters of Braden’s Bites that have supported them over the past 14 or so months and allowed them to be able to make choices to go places.

But the reason I bring all of this up today is because time and time again I’ve been told by camp counselors, instructors, etc that my kids are some of the most engaged kids each week at camp. I firmly believe it is because they now fully comprehend how hard it was to work to be at that camp. Telling a kid that a camp costs $250 doesn’t mean anything to them because they can’t grasp that amount. So what mom – it’s just money. Having them work to earn the $250 is an entirely different story. It also has allowed them to truly have some once in a lifetime experiences that I just wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise.

 
Same thing with their spending money. They each have a stash of money that has come from birthdays, Christmas, or in Braden’s case the tooth fairy (8 teeth this summer!) that they use to purchase things they want. When we are at a store or on vacation and they want something I very simply let them know that purchase is a “their money” not “mom’s money” purchase. More often than not the intended purchase goes back on the shelf. I’ve even started doing this with non-school clothes for Amelia. Again, it may sound harsh for an 8 year old, but I promise this girl has more clothes than she could ever want to wear. So if she really, really wants something, I let that be her decision (as long as it falls within the boundaries of what I’ll allow her to wear). But I see them taking care of those purchases and really using those things more than if I just purchase something for them.
 
So, next time your kids ask to do something or buy something maybe consider making them work for it. And I mean really work for it. If chores are an expectation at your house, don’t pay them $10 to take the trash out unless you normally would.  Maybe allow them to pick up some extra chores or visit with neighbors about doing yard work, etc. We’ve had several friends raising money for trips, etc and I will always try and support those kids because I fully believe so much that they get more out of it that way. And for any of you wondering, Braden and Amelia are in the kitchen working for every single Braden’s Bites meal service. 9 times out of 10 I’m only there in a supervisory role. So double bonus – they are learning responsibility, but also how to cook!

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