Report Card

Ok, so this is blog #4 since my whole “my goal is to be intentional in all the things”, so I thought it was a good time to touch base.

So right off the bat, I’m going to admit a failure. My goal had been to be intentional about writing. In order to do that I set a goal of writing once per week for 52 weeks. I made it three weeks. Technically less than that, because I didn’t set the goal before I began. Last week was a short week at work, coming off a mini vacation, and I had a huge project due on Friday. That last sentence seems like an excuse, or a rationalization even. But it wasn’t. It was the reason. And knowing the difference between a reason and an excuse I think can help me be more successful in the long run. I felt myself starting to get stressed last week about finding the time to write a blog. But a) when I’m stressed the creativity doesn’t exactly flow, so I didn’t even have an idea and b) if writing is cathartic, then why am I allowing it to stress me out.

So guess what… I gave myself a break. A hall pass. A get over it and don’t feel guilty card. And guess what, I did. It’s such a slippery slope when you are the one holding yourself accountable to things because one week turns into 3 that turn into a lifetime of never achieving what you wanted. But at the same time a reason for missing a goal can absolutely be a good one and sometimes you have to cut yourself some slack. So I did. And guess what, I’m back at it this week =)

So, intentional item #1, working through a failure. Item #2 – be intentional about who I put in my life. Well, I’m pleased to say this is going well on my end (I’ll circle back to an observation later). The first path to success for me on this was looking around and deciding who I want in my life. Do I take the vacation with the drinking buddy (not that having those is a bad thing) or the godly woman from church that I admire?  Do I jump back into the dating pool even though it seems to get shallower ever time I visit? Do I call up old friends that I may have lost touch with because life gets busy and I’m not always the friend I should be?

So once I was able to define what that looked like for me, the path got easier. Notice I did not say easy. Being intentional about who you put in your life requires effort. Every day. I try every single day to reach out to someone that I consider a friend that I may not have spoken to in a while. It might be a text just to say they’ve been on my mind. Sometimes those go unanswered. But it is me making an effort. When I know my friends are going through something difficult, I reach out. And not just once, over and over so they know they aren’t alone. And I pray for them, often. But that still didn’t necessarily put the right people in my life.

So I’ve become intentional about creating meaningful relationships with other women. I struggle sometimes at work because this is a man’s world and it is easy for a woman manager to get lost in that. So I called a woman that I admire and asked her for advice. I even went further than that, I told her I needed a mentor. So now that door is open anytime I need it to be. Which just knowing that the door is there makes things seem much easier to tackle. I am also super excited about my “not a book club” gathering that will start next week. I’ve reached out to three girlfriends and asked for an hour of their time each week. We will be reading a book, but we’ll also be sharing thoughts and ideas and forming bonds with women who are not like us. The only common thread they all have is me. And I’ve asked them to bring someone I don’t know. It could turn out to be a total disaster, but I hope not. I’m really excited about it!

Ok, to circle back around, it has been eye opening, almost to the point of discouraging how many people say they’ll make plans and then never do. And this is not an accusation. I totally used to be guilty of this. “Hey great to see you, let’s have lunch soon.” “Ok” and then no one ever lunches. I have counted 5 (yes 5!!!) people in the past 7 days that I have reached out to to try and schedule lunch with who all say “yes that’s a great idea” and then zero follow through. And I’m even the one texting them saying “hey, send me some dates that work for lunch” and nothing. I don’t think it is me personally (I mean it could be, but I hope not). I think that is just the culture we live in today. But my challenge to you this week if you take anything away from reading this would be to answer that text. Make the lunch plans. And show up. I’m pretty sure you’ll be glad you did.

So finally, goal number 3… being intentional with my kids. For me, this is the hardest one. I’m not going to rehash the why, but y’all, I’m tired. All the time. And I love my children, but I could not care less about their house in RoadBlox (I’m pretty sure I spelled that wrong) or who is managing the pizza parlour that day. And since sometimes victories are about gaining the inch and not the mile I have not chosen to care about their make believe houses and jobs yet.

What I have done is create an environment where we are all present together, and I don’t mean necessarily just physically. All electronic devices are kept in my room until the weekends. That means when we are home we can do things together, and not the whole “each in their own corner” mentality. Amelia has started reading to me every night as a part of her school work. She used to read in her room, but this is 15 minutes that she and I get to share something together. Braden and I still spend time in the kitchen each week, so forward progress is being made.

So I guess in terms of a grade, I hit 2 of the 3, 66.67%. If I’m grading on a curve I’d bump that up 10-15% since really I missed a goal on issue 1, but did not give up. So I’m sitting at a solid C right now. I can live with that. It is certainly not failure, but it gives me something to continue to improve on. Which is 100% where I see life right now. I’m happy. And I’m busy. Sometimes I’m so busy I can’t see straight. But I’m fulfilled. And that is what happens when you are intentional, your bucket gets filled.