Wednesday, September 26, 2018

Kicking Cans and Raising Dragons


Ok… taking a week off from talking about being intentional (notice I did not say taking a week off from actually being intentional!) Although before I do I’ll report in on how my whole “eat fruit with every meal” goal is going. Monday – check. All the fruit, all the meals. Tuesday… depends. Does apple pie count as fruit? Sheepish would be how I feel about Tuesday. We had sales training which means catered lunch and I had a NAJA (yes I know I thought I was on break, too) thing out of town which just in general means food that does not include fruit. Plus we ran out of fruit at my house. Like all of it. Fresh fruit, canned fruit, fruit cups, fruit bars (which is not really fruit), yogurt (see previous parentheses). ALL OF IT. But I have now solved that over lunch hour on Wednesday (how is it only WEDNESDAY!!!). So back on track.

I digress. So, I’m taking a week off this week because I want to see if anyone else is every derailed by a single conversation? A single person? A single moment? Y’all the last half of my last week was legitimately hijacked by a singular person/event. And try as I might, I could not get past it.
To the point where I’m saying to people “I know this sounds petty, but…” Like a lot. To everyone. I mean we are talking firstest of the first world problems here. Ugh. But nonetheless, this singular event just bugged me last week. A LOT (did I mention it bothered me?) To the point where I was losing sleep. And in the event that I did actually fall asleep I woke up irritated and thinking about this.  And what I would do to right the injustice and how I would fight the system. Only to realize over and over again that IT JUST DIDN’T MATTER.

But I still let it consume me. Like I would say to myself “Lauren, we are better than this, move on.” And I would until I thought about it again. And then I’d be angry all over again. I’m talking raise a dragon to lay waste to the land sort of angry. And for what?

Now I will say that for the first time in the ever of evers for me I wrote an email and DID NOT send it. I told myself to wait 24 hours. Turns out I didn’t need it. 6 hours in I realized that email did not ever need to see the light of day. Nothing in the email was incorrect or unprofessional (think more terse with an overwhelming angry undertone), it is just that sending it would accomplish nothing. 6 hours in I also realized I was being petty, but couldn’t shake the angry feeling.

So have you ever been through that? How do you deal with it? I had lots of long talks with myself. I prayed for this person, even though I didn’t want to. I went all Rachel Hollis (hey girl hey) and tried to find commonality with the person at the root of my event. I did all of those things and still ended up angry. Like angry enough to pull all of my future planned monetary and time donations from the organization at the center of the derailment. Why? Because I felt slighted? Because I wasn’t treated right? How many times do I roll my eyes and tell my children that life is not fair? Yet I allow this perceived unfairness to literally consume me for 5 days? What is that?

For the record, I’ve calmed down. Some. I’m still pissy about the entire situation, but more of an “I’ll kick your trashcan over” kind of angry than the fiery dragon kind of angry from before. I think at the root of the situation it is because I feel like I’m right about things (and truth be told, I probably am), but back to what I tell my kids, so what!! So what that you’re right. It doesn’t change what happened. And by allowing yourself to be angry about it for more than 60 minutes, you’re letting this person and this situation win over and over and over again.

So truly I ask, if you are one of the people in this world that gets bogged down in the petty nonsense and you have brains enough to see that, how do you get unstuck?

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